Sunday, August 14, 2011

My old diary


Well, I have to pack my stuffs. books and many other things inside the boxes and keep it in our Sakura hostel storeroom before holiday after the short semester. You know when your home is so far away from your university, you never bring all your stuffs home and bring it again on the next semester especially when you have a lot of stuffs. Gosh, I feel like I "broke" my arm when I need to bring all the boxes that full of notes and books from my room to the storeroom.

But, in the same time, I suddenly found my old diary. My diary when I was 16-17 years old. I remember I don't want to leave it at my home because I'm afraid someone will read it so I rather chose to bring it with me and let me keep it by myself.

This is not attention seeker picture, this is how I wanted to explain that I rather being hurt like this instead of my heart bleeding with no cure

I am a girl who really like to write diary on every years, long time ago before I go to college. But after that, I destroying it and sometimes, I burn it so that no one can read my secrets. I actually don't have any good memories during my teen years, well maybe have a bit on how I can score my exam and draw some manga for myself.

Mostly my life is miserable. I have to compete with other smart students which all of them quite good in study. I don't have love story. I have friends but not too close, I'm a lonely girl, anti-social, nerd, and most hated by some students, seriously I don't know why. The most important about me before, I'm super ugly until no one want to see me, and treat me like a stone. I just can't be myself because I need to pretend that I'm holy all the time otherwise, I don't have any friend. I hate it!

I don't have many clothes to wear. I never wear jeans because it is expensive. I wore my mum's t-shirt, and old sandals. I don't even know some of modern terms that time. My family sometimes overprotective, glad that I'm not rubbish daughter now. Being alone make me see more and think a lot. I know my life is pathetic but I never begging for love or comfort. I just want to be free.

5 comments:

Jasman said...

walaupon sedih dia menjadikan kita seorang manusia yg bergunakan...lebih baik kita abiskan masa dengan keluarga selagi mereka ada didepan mata...

Elie Lily said...

elie tak pandai menulis diari! kalau ada pun, ada sehari dua je, then da tak sentuh! hahaha

alinac lover said...

yong pon x suka jugak kenangan lepas..

AmirFX said...

Diari? Macam best jak.. Kmk sik penah ada diari.. Nota toyol ada.. haha..

gr@wn said...

sama la kita.

Tapi, i still have the diary masa form 4 form 5. When i read it back, damn. It's the worst shit things ever happen to me.

Pastu, buka diari lain. Masa matrikulasi. Habis matrikulasi je, aku buang diari tu. Aku masa tu nak lupakan semua, nak mulakan hidup baru. Lepas aku buang je diari tu, aku rasa macam dilahirkan semula.

However, diary is a very interesting book to keep. It's our best personal thing. It's like our best friend too. :)