Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The problematic me


I feel like I want to cry, I don't know why. The more step I've take, the more complicated my life will be and I feel alone. Since my age now near 25, I don't feel like I want to study anymore. I've tried to make myself like me when I was young which I was interested with everything but I just can't. My environment and me myself never be the same like before.

Moreover, my brother now make himself in trouble and I feel worry about my parent. How I wish I can something for them.

I used to think about giving up. I don't want to live with hope which make me feel so down just because I fail to reach it. I feel so hard about everything! Since I was born, my life is not beautiful like everybody else. I raised by not so broken family, and abused mentally by my own mindset.

Whenever I look around me, I always see people who think about themselves while me always try to be an idiot caring about others who only looking for me when they need me. Last week, I have did other people's assignment until midnight just because they have same group with me and they didn't nothing. I did it alone for 10% of final marks.

I used to post something on my Facebook about how I feel toward Carlson. I felt mad, disappointed, and extremely sad  that time and no one knows about it. I have nobody to tell so I just use social media at least to tell 30% of my problems. It's funny right, I posted about it and I put it private so no one will see except me.

I have told my stories to people, but they mad at me and being such judgmental because they only hear certain part of my stories. It is not because I didn't tell them everything, it is because they only want to listen what they want to listen.  You know it is hard to be honest with people who totally different than you.




(Attention. The original entry picture has been removed by the blog owner/author in 2014 which that time she realize that picture was overreacted. The original picture also was replaced with the owner passport picture.)



4 comments:

Magdalene Blue Rose said...

Liana~~~~~~ T.T can find me talk if got any problem ya...u know im a good listener...> <

last bloodz said...

yg pasti hidup mesti diteruskan.. Senyum Selalu.. :)

niesh™ said...

chill k. saya pun rasa macam ni selalu. bila kita nak cerita problem, orng buat bodoh je. cari sum1 yg memang blh dipercayai dan memang seorang pendengar yang baik.

Jasman said...

susah nak ckp...supaya org d sekeliling awk baca dan sama2 memahami masalah awk ni...

jgn sedih2 sgt...