Monday, March 10, 2014

Nobody want to have a mum like this

Here, I would like to share you guys part of my life story. Actually if you ever read my previous entries, you will understand how I feel right now. Yes, I feel sad. I feel sad when Carlson's mother trying to abuse him psychologically. She said something that hurt him so much, but since he's a guy. He trying to hide it pass it to me and now, I'm the one who suffer from those abuses. Like I used to said, I never force someone to convert to Islam, I already warned him and he said, he 100% pretty sure don't really mind about it. Then, you guys must wondering why the hell he didn't tell his family about me before we're get couple? But I don't think that's his fault. He's just afraid. Their parent threatened will disown their children if one of them become a betrayer of their religion. How cruel and sick religious people, didn't they realize that they're actually abusing their children mentality?

I wonder why they're so much "care" to psycho their innocent children other than care about their other children who completely taking their nude picture, smoking, sexuality immoral which I think its prohibited in their religion. We're just doing nothing, and have no idea why they treat us so that bad. How could they put their religion first before their children, while religion we all know doesn't give any benefits but hatred and lost of humanity.

Some Non-Muslim maybe don't understand, they assume that people after converted to Islam will abandon their own family, separate their meal and dishes from them and make everything looks awkward. They assume ALL muallafs are just like that without even look at my mother, because my mother is Iban muallaf. The negative thinking about Islam among them make their life feel so insecure, yet they also like to insult those Muslim who feel so insecure with Christian things. So, what's the different between them then?

Ouh yeah that's right, the mother sacrifice can be as an excuses. I admit it, we must love our mother. I never tell Carlson to hate her. I wish them, well at least respect our decision, support us. If one day, I will become a mother, I will not treat my children like the way they treat Carlson. Can you believe since they are kids, they have been taught by their parent to hate Islam and set their mind that Muslim are bad, their path are wrong, their God stupid, no matter they are our neighbor, teachers as long as they're Muslim. That's what Carlson have told me. How come most of parent who raise their own child just because they want something from them when they're an adult. I thought parent love their child, and wish nothing from them but happiness.

If I'm a evil person. I will do something to make them separated but I'm not type of that person. I hate to see someone being hurt, but I never stop him from from go to his parent house at Bau. I know sometimes, Carlson will act differently at certain time which make me feel a bit frustrated, but what can I do then. He becoming like this because he's so scare. At the end, I'm the one who be the victim. I'm the one who will be the hot topic of their gossip while I have nobody to tell about how I feel because I love my family and my friends. I don't want them being hurt and worry about me.

Who says it's easy being me?

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