Sunday, January 18, 2015

Falling in love with my same sex friend

Once again, I like to discuss weird thing inside my blog. This time, I will tell everyone about one of my hidden story about homosexual. I think all people knew that, I start having a boyfriend when I was 20 years old. Before that, I was phobia with most of male species because the way they treated me like a rubbish especially during my school years.

When I was in school, I only have female friends until I reach 16 like that, I used to like so much one of my own female friend. I don't know how to call it, but I think it is not love. It is just a "like" feeling so much and I can't control that.

Until I further my study to college. I started to know one naughty Chinese girl and I think I fall in love with her. The story began when we both together got flu and fever. She's tomboy girl at that time but still have a woman feelings, while me kinda a bit brutal, rough but my appearance still look a bit ladies.

I just don't now why I like her so much. I never tell her about how I feel about her, but I think she likes me too! We used to be so damn closed until one day, I ruined it because my seniors doesn't really want me to be friend with her. They know what happen between us because it is too obvious that we both like each other, and..

I ever told my housemate, Pamella about her that surely can 100% hurt her feeling so much and I knew she was there hiding in front of our main door (Pamella doesn't realize that). I really wish she knows that, I'm just pretending at that time with Pamella about how I hate that she always come over to our rent house to see me but deep inside my heart, I actually miss her so much and want her be with me all the time! You know how hard when we need to pretend to be straight because of our society.

I didn't ask to become a person like this. I also have a feeling, I can be hurt, I can cry like the others always did. The annoyed moment when I have to deal with some girls who act like innocent and hate lesbian so much like they know what happen to them. Come on, what make you think that all lesbian will fall in love with random girl, like oh please. Their love are not that cheap compare with useless straight SEX love.

Some people put too much prejudice on homosexual person, I know that the homosexual is prohibited in Quran and the Bible. But it is impossible to have all normal in one community without forcing someone to be the one they can't be. I always dream that all people will feel the same way as we did. Maybe that's the only way to make them more consider about people around them.

Well, this is the end of my love same sex short story. In fact, I only experiencing to feel how it suppose to be feel. Enough to understanding other people's feeling without judging first. I guess I'm not really straight girl. Keep exploring!

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