Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Who's Carlson II?

Hi. Before I start my story here, you guys are welcome to read more about who's Carlson at my previous entry. I'm actually never mean to talk bad about Carlson's family, I'm just sharing you guys about my real story and give an example what is the true situation when you be with someone who controlled by religions. I never tell anyone yet about this story face to face, and I wish maybe someday if I have a chance to meet people who have the same idea as mine.

You know what make Carlson so special is, he's so patient in everything. That's make he's different from the others. I don't know what will happen to me if I be with the other guy instead of him with my easy to get mad even only a small matter, maybe we'll break up.

The only problem that he so damn difficult to get rid is, he type of hard to come clean. For example, when he go for vacation or go to my parent's house. I know he never tell the truth to his parent. He always use "go to friend's house at Serian, Samarahan and so on" or "working day" or bla bla as his excuses. I mean, what if something happen to us during 7 hours of journey to Sibu and his family don't have any idea where he is?

I feel a bit sorry about him sometimes. Maybe he so much depressed by his family saying or complain everything about what he did, different than his big brother who live at Bintulu and free to do anything he likes and be with someone that he want. I hope that I never do something like that to my children one day. I will let they choose by their own, what they wanted to be and who they wanted to be with.

Maybe some people will wondering why? Why I tell something like this in my blog? Why I let people know about my problems?

Since my blog is personal, I like to tell everything here. I can tell a direct story to people instead of telling certain people face to face. I afraid if someday they will manipulate my version of stories like people manipulated an histories and the book of religions.

In real life, you can see me as a woman who so enjoyable. I'm happy person, I like to talk nicely with everyone. Maybe my stories in my blog sounds like my life so damn pathetic, and yes it is, if I show this in real life. But I better let all of this flowing by the wind. Sharing using this medium at least help me a bit to release my stress from religious people. I love myself so much, be with Carlson is one of the best experiences for me to learn that most of Christian people behaviors where I used to thought that they're nice people in the world that I ever met. But actually, they are all just the same with other religious people. I'm sorry because I have to include the religion's matter here because the main point they trying to messed with me is because of religion.

If they know the true about me that I don't believe in anything, my mindset toward them will not change forever. The wound maybe can heal but the scars remain. I'm glad Carlson trying so hard not to become one of them anymore, I mean the typical mindset. He also started not to believe in God and religion because we both know that those kind of things just give us a lot of trauma and negative vibes.

Soon, I will finish my study and I will do something to make sure my future is better than the old me. This is not a love story. This is about how we need to survive in full of religious and cultural environment. About the married things, I'm not ready and I don't want to get married with the wrong person.

p/s I believe in nature and life. I believe that what we did, we will get back.

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